GiggleDrill™ with Applyourself Applicator™
A recent poll revealed that not a single person likes the sound of a functioning drill, you asked and we answered. Equipped with a compact lithium-ion battery and all the torque you need to get screwed, this drill has a touch activated giggle trigger. The stand-up community can be hard to break into, this drill will give you perfect practice while you're on the job. Anytime you make a joke that falls flat on the A-frame, just hit the switch and it's as if your girlfriends are all surrounding you, giggling like it's Cinco de Mayo and you don't even like condiments.
But wait! There's more! This drill comes ready with Applyourself™ drill bit applicator–for beauty on the task up to the last lash. This ocu-friendly accessory keeps mascara application at charm's length. Simple re-attach and start drilling, the gyratory action common to every drill allows for perfect application of mascara to your lashes in mind blowing ratios. The leiomyrotation taps into a new level of lash in even utilization. Dual-action has never gotten you so much dual-action–until now! Turn 2.7% into 33% go from day to night with GiggleDrill™.
Support starts from the head down. This shelf cantilever doesn't stop there, it doubles as an angular de-tangler. Buttress meets hairdresser with Sleek Support™, the shelf bracket system that helps keep your hair looking right even when a hardhat is wrong. It cantilever your hair alone!
Nothing says staple quite like a signature scent, like a floral boudoir or a little virility volume. It is time scent becomes your literal staple affix the very material of your being on Sprayple™, the only staplegun tool of its kind. Turn staplegun into staple fun in one swift motion. Align every fiber of your board with a scent laced staple. Build and live within a structure of your own aroma, be the OSB (original scent bitch) you've always wanted to be on your next job site.
It's about time drinking on the job becomes acceptable, especially when the mechanism with which you drink is a functioning and necessary part of the work. finally, a shot glass that does more than empty its contents into your mouth–with ScrewDriver/Screw Driver™, you can finish off any simple screwing task with a quick shot of whatever you please.
I Saw Myself™
In this fast selection of self-important lifestyle everyone needs some extra time to practice some self-love. Finally, the tool for the betterment of your box–I Saw Myself™. Just because you're deep into wood doesn't mean you can't look good, it's important to maintain the pertinence, be the best looking one on the job like your mother always told you. This aggressive tooth saw allows for maximum penetration into any thickness or ply, the mirror-coated blade allows for maximum visibility while you chore. Vanity isn't just a bonfire, it's a flame by which we aim our cut. Be the force splitting, or check your hair. The jig is up! You'll have OSHA saying "Oh Shit!" when you look that good on the site. You'll be eating up more than an eighth of an inch once you catch glimpse of that number 10 in its reflection staring back at you.
TOOL TIME is a performance and object series by Aria McManus and Raine Trainor, at Motel Gallery, Jan 25th, 2016. Featured products include GiggleDrill™ with ApplyYourself Applicator™, Glitter Grind™, Sleek Support™, Sprayple™, ScrewDriver/Screw Driver™, Bubba Inch™, I Saw Myself™, Head Bang™. Filming by Avery McCarthy, photography by KangHee Kim, copy by me.
Finishing touches are just as important as your first, just ask granny. This high grade neo-nymph sanding block brings a little glit to your grit. Bridging the gap between plain board and plain playful.
Hammer out any remaining stress or anxiety in your day with Head Bang™. Made from the most durable steel mined from Northeast Russia and hickory from an area where shakers may have lived, this hammer is topped off with grade-A blonde synthetic hair, bringing realism to retribution. This is the answer to those days of eating nails. Perfect for those moments of latent sadism or when you're craving visuals to a secret fantasy. You can never go wrong with the two words that make the perfect tool–Head Bang™.
Endurance is futile without a common goal. Advancements on the most common of tools have been made; the goal: to look good while doing. No more days of the ‘bad worker’ who blames their ‘tools,’ a hatchet job is no excuse! Putdown the tools of the past and make way for the new age of Tool Time™----the tools of our trade, tools in vain.
Give us the tools and we’ll finish the job. Motel is located at 1078 Dekalb Avenue. Brooklyn, New York.
Never has walk and chew gum made more of an effort. This tape measure is a tool you can take to the site, but leave with only a few extra calories in your diet. Life becomes a slippery slope when you can eat what you measure and measure what you eat–afterall it's a long row to how. Premium grade OSHA approved pink bubblegum comes marked in measurement increments of your choice. Chew wisely measure widely with Bubba Inch™